FUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!!!

gosh, life can be so unfair...and guys are such idiots.
who expected that he's been together with his girlfriend since ages ago? why didnt i know about this and what advantage does he have in not telling me? it absolutely makes no sense. i feel like such a dork for trying everything i can to be closer to him and be the right girl for him.

but u know what? i'm not going to allow him to mess with my life anymore. i think 3 years is enough!!!

絶対負けない！！！！

job hunting seminars

i went to two seminars today...mitsui and sumitomo corporation. it was definitely worth taking time to get myself over there. it really motivated me!!!!

i got off in toyosu and decided to stop by at the taiyo-no-tomato-men!!! it was delicious!!

i again have a seminar tomorrow. i'll go practice beforehand, then off to work after the seminar! busy busy busy!

i love uni

i feel so so so much better!!! just seeing my friends and talking stuff made me feel like things will go okay afterall. my mistake was having mondays and fridays off...because that's four days away from school per week...too much time away from my girls!! arrrgh

anyway, i obviously missed 1st period old english today. i don't think i'll ever go :P oh well who cares anyway? :P

it's almost 11pm...g2g sleep! night night!

UGH

i just dont feel good about myself. i feel inconfident, screwed, and messed up for the last couple of weeks. that hasnt changed at all. i feel like everything will end in failure! ive got to change the way i think or else i really WILL end up failing on everything.

anyway, the drama series, tokyo dogs started today. hiro mizushima was absolutely hot and the story seems pretty darn interesting! they shot a part of it in nyc which really excited me!! it's a serious story, including the mafia and drug etc, but the comedy parts between hiro and shun oguri mitigates the seriousness and blends in very well. cant wait for next week's broadcast!

messed up

i'm so screwed...!! i'm totally muddled with complete mess right now. my life seem like crap and i feel like garbage.

its not like theres anything wrong with my life...there isnt anything spectacular either, but there's basically nothing to worry about but i feel like crap and wrong for just existing on this planet.

no classes today!

classes are canceled!!! how SPECTACULAR is that???

i'm going back to sleep :)

NIGHT NIGHT!!!



missing my zemi girls though!

happy news!

i missed first period old english this morning...just couldnt get myself outa bed!! ugh.

everything else went fairly well. i got my OPI nail polish that my friend bought for me in california:) but omg, i have to read "my contraband". my presentation is in 6 days and i've yet to get started on anything.

tomorrow is dinner with erika in shibuya and friday is disneyland with my zemi girls!!


and OMG, yea, my TOEIC score went up by 20 points!!!! wooo hooooooo!! i'm definitely going to score perfect in november.

airline seminar

i went to the airline study forum today. i can't apply for cabin crews because i'm not tall enough...but that's okay, like i wanted to become a CA anyway. everything was incredibly helpful...lots of precious and important information were given.

after the seminar, i stopped in shibuya at the new h&m and did some shopping. (i finally know where it is!!!! last time i went, my friend and i totally got lost!)

a new week starts tomorrow...gonna have to get on working hard again.

start of school :)

i havent written here for a month! wow.
my summer finally ended. even though skating camp was crap, zemi camp and hawaii was way too AWESOME! love my zemi girls! (and guys)
i'm back in college, back on track, and back having a blast with my friends. but busy semester coming ahead, with zemi presentation, tests, skating, and job hunting adding to all of that. but i think i'm strong enough to get through everything.

i got new pumps for job hunting today! they were EXPENSIVE but i need to feel comfortable in good shoes. tomorrow's the airline seminar. i'm not sure if i want to work at airline companies, but i'll see.